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Wednesday, 20 November 2002

couples therapy is a lot like that Simpsons episode where they go in for family cousilling and the shrink gives them foam covered bats to hit each other with. then bart realized that you can take the foam off and promptly breaks Homer's leg. If you didn't need help before, boy, you sure will afterwards. How this is suppossed to do anybody any good, is beyond me. In times of stress, the guru to turn to is not any shrink you can think of or anyone that advocated airing all of your dirty laundry all at once in an attack-like barrage. no the voice to listen to, the voice of reason is Miss Manners. Clearly what is required in times of stress that people make an extra effort to be polite, not let everything negative out in a vian quest for catharthis.

I would rather grow back my wisdom teeth every week and have them removed every week over and over again like that mythical guy whose spleen grew back every night, than go to couples therapy. The wisdom teeth thing is much nicer. Everyone had your best interest in mind and people are nice to you afterwards. Your spouse doesn't start crying and avoid you. she brings you ice cream instead. Isn't it better to get ice cream?

When I was a kid, my mom dragged me off to family cousilling along with the rest of my family (but i was the primary target). that was pretty miserable. it gave me a terrible opion of shrinks. i decided they were all bad people who tried to sow discord in order to keep themselves employed longer or maybe because they really hate people. I could never tell which. Everyone assured me that going as an adult (even if pretty much against my will) would be very different. Nope. It's exactly the same. No, it's worse, becuase I end up paying cash for it at the end. Before it was miserable, but at least it was my parents money.

And then I went out to the car afterwards, and there was a parking ticket. Yes, it just gets better and better. No-one will ever get me into a shrink's office again. I'm going with the they-all-hate-people theory.

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