As I see it, there are two kinds of problems. One is right-now problems and the other is past problems. Right-now problems are ones that areoccuring right-now. Example:
A: does this make my butt look big?I think those should be addressed as they come up, like person A does in the example.
B: no, your butt is already the size of Romania
A: that hurt my feelings
B: I'm very sorry.
Past prolems are things lurking from the past. Example:
A: It hurt my feelings last year when you shot my dog.Past problems are lurking around and they must be addressed or they will erupt in bad ways, but as we can see from this example, bringing them up can also be dangerous. I think that in some cases, past problems require a professional referee to help people sort them out.
B: It was rabid!
A: You don't know that for sure. We should have brought it to the vet.
B: It was chewing on a human baby!
A: That dog was very important to me!
B: You're a lunatic!
A: you're an insensitive jerk!
there are my thoughts about problems. thank you