not standing alone

I wrote something a few days ago about standing alone against pain. what complete bullshit. nobody can do that. that's why people have friends and shrinks and religion. i am not standing alone, thank god. i tried that once. it was a disaster. i don't see the need to repeat that experience. stading alone is sort of masculinist. supporting communities is a "feminine" ideal. there's a reason that women live longer than men.
if i can't undo the past, at least i can learn from it.