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Saturday, 31 July 2004

John Kerry's Speech

As a flow of stage directions and logical statements:

[nodding solemnly] A.
[pointing forcefully] But not A.
[Shaking his head in a presidential manner] B.
[Thundering] But not B!
[highly concerned] C.
[with great enthusiasm] But not C
[hand gestures] D
[happily]But not D
. . .

As Ideas

Not exactly like Bush.
Just like Bush
Bush-light
Yay Bush ideas!
Same ideas as Bush but minutely differnt implementation
If you like Bush, you'll love me
I differ from Bush in terms of style
I have a better vocabulary than Bush
Let's give a bit more thought to these great Bush ideas
I like heteronormativity, war and surface changes as much as Bush does
Bushy Bush Bush! Go Bushism!

Foreign Policy

guns guns guns!
war war war
more war
I like war
I fought wat
everyone should fight war
we need a bigger army
We need more special forces to go commit terrorism (actual freudian slip
Fuck you UN!
Fuck you allies! by the way, want to pay for the costs of reconstructing Iraq?

Domestic Issues

I promise to sell our country out not only to corporations who are run by members of my administration, but to every corporation.
Middle class middle class middle class (the poor can fuck themselves)
Hey, swing voters, look at me! Want more of same but a little different? Look at me! Look at me!
Family values! Heteronormativity! I'm a butchy boy! Masculine as hell! Look at my manliness! I could bench press Edwards!
If you're not a swing voter, and specifically a white, middle class and perhaps male swing voter, then I don't give two shits about you. stay home for all I care. Who are you going to vote for besides me or Bush? Nader? Hahaha! Then you'll just have 4 more years of Bush. You don't want that. You'll vote for me anyway. so fuck off. Who cares about my base. it's not like they have a choice. the corporate system will fuck you forever! hahahaha! I will dance on the graves of your grandparents you liberal assholes!

And, on to the FOX news reporter on the convention floor

. . . what this convention is really about is hate: Hate for George Bush

Is it a sign of the end times when I agree with a FOX News reporter?

Can we just nominate Obama now? Screw Kerry? What about Kucinich? What about Hillary? Hell, why don't we cross-nominate Bush? I mean, I think he'll have less military stuff in his speech

I am Not switching my registration.

To win this election, all the Democrats need, as Cola points out, is to win all the states we won last time plus one other state. Not Florida. Any other state. A tiny one. It doesn't matter.

this is a numbers game. the more of the Democratic base come out to vote, the more likely Kerry is to win. the Democratic base is enough to carry the election. What does Kerry do to encourage his base? Nothing! He doesn't give a shit about his base. Who the fuck cares about his base. Cola notes that the repbulican party didn't care about their base either . . . until Perot acted as a spoiler and let the Democrats elect the most popular president in modern times. Oh yeah, Perot fucked the Republicans big time. And the Republicans had to take a minute and realize that they needed to do what registered Republicans wanted or they were going to loose. They rediscovered their base because of a spoiler.

So who are going to vote for? Right wing nutjob? Or right wing nutjob-light? Or are you going to remind the democrats that they do have a natural base?

when Nixon wanted to "expand" the reach of the Republican party, he reached out to angry white southern males. Whenerver anyone wants to make their party bigger, better stronger (how many times did Kerry say "stronger" last night? How many fucking bombs does he want to build? Or does he just want us to all take steriods?) Memo to folks in charge: there are fewer white folks every year. There are way less men than women. the suburban, unhappy, conservative, heterosexual, white males that you so desperately crave with the whole of your soul, those SUV driving desk job workers, they don't fucking matter. If you energize your base, you win. If you reach out to Bush-lovers, if you let republicans define the game, if you try to out-Bush, Bush, your suppoerters are not energized. Why vote at all if those are my choices?

I'm voting Green. Kerry can have all the middle class family values that he wants. that's not me. If he doesn't want me, well, I don't want him.

And that's why the FOX reporter was right. Cuz there's no way those delegates were energized by that message. They're excited cuz they think they're getting Bush out. what a pathetic party.

4 comments:

yesyouam said...

yeah, it'd be kinda hard to vote for that tool kerry and sleep well at night.

Anonymous said...

so numbers speaking.....are there more people in the middle class or people who are poor?

smurfette

Anonymous said...

Kerry has to say things like "we'll be stronger" because he needs that wimpy middle-of-the-road group that makes up the great swath of America between California and New York.

It's because the liberal left refuses to vote for him that he must bend to the center. He can't get every liberal because if he differs on one issue, they're off and running to the Green Party and thus useless, politically. So he goes for the "moderates" that dislike most liberal policies but also dislike GW. It's all about winning--you can't do jack shit if you don't win the election.

Crinis said...

I'm liberal left and I'll be proudly voting for Kerry.

Kerry has a national health care plan, so does Bush, but to call it a health car plan is put "health" and "care" and "plan" together in a sentence without the prerequisite "no" out in front.

Kerry, despite Clst's soundbite analysis, sounded great on stage! And liberal. And sure he pandered to the center. Shit, he needs Ohio to win. It's an electoral college game, NOT a popular vote game (as we were all reminded in 2K).

He talked of unity with the international community, bringing our country into the 20th century with a national health care (Yes, I know it is know the 21st, we've got a game of catchup to play), of actually NOT sending our boys and girls to get shot at by people who hate us, of a national energy indenpendence policy (whether he means it or not, Bush would implode if he ever uttered those words).

Y'all all welcome to be cynical all you like. Kerry isn't a cynic, and I think he's got good ideas. And his vocabulary is WAY superior to Bush's, which goes to show that some people bought their grades at Harvard, and other people earned them.