Drinking will not solve your problems, no no no, but it certainly helps you forget what you're thinking about. also, me= lightweight. yes, so whilst i was sitting in the electronic music studio, preparing to create an RSS feed for podcasting (w00t) containing the reading or my firt symphonic piece, when suddenly, there was a loud clicking and grinding sound emerging from my laptop and i started getting IO errors. rebooting did not help. i booted it as a firewire disk and over the course of a much too long a time, i backed up my school data to Phillip's computer. all throughout there was grinding and clicking and a painfully, mournfully slow data transfer. then i took it home and backed up my supercollider data. now i have it mounted as a frewire disk for my desktop and am creating a disk image. my hope is that i can take it to the compter store and that apple care will give me a new disk and then i can just re-image it and have the exact same computer as before. cuz disks do start to get full of crud and wiping them periodically is not a bad idea. but this is only a year old. and i like my disk. it has cool stuff like authorizations to run software that has obnoxious liscening control eneter code special key one computer at a time blah blah blah.
The image is going rather slowly, but not worrisomely slowly. maybe walking home shook everything back into place. if i take it to the computer store and it doesn't show symptoms for them, i am still going to demand a new disk. my thesis. no backups. moment of panic. i had a moment of panic this morning when i communicated my thesis concert date to my advisor (April 5th) and he said, "oh, that's just two weeks after spring break. pretty soon." I looked stricken.
Readig drunk blogs is so great isn't it. maybe i should halt drinking cognac before i float away from reality. i had a beer before office hours and then some jim beam from aaron's hip flask when my computer started the click of deatjh. and now i just forgot that iw as not going to sip any more and then took another slip. it's a slipper slope from here. i just did it again. goddamit. i have enough problems with relaity when i'm sober. do you ever have a feeling like you've sort of been out of the office for a while. what's going on? so many of my reactions to people are not conscious. i'm much more alert when i'm typing. where alert = not dissasociated. i'm going to use that word even though i don't know what it means. sometimes i giglle at things. if i'm giggling, i'm not home. it's weird when i'm not home. ofdd times. times when i ought to be paying attention. and my computer is like, i dunno an umbilicall cord. it cannot die. my lif e is on there. i read a science fiction when i was a kid about an apple newton that attached directly to your brain so you ended up outsourcing your thoguhts to it until it became an extension of yourself. the author thought this was cool idea. but what about when the disk died:? what then? woudl you lose the memory of your 4th birthday party? would your thesis vanish into thin air? would you lose all the pices you had written in the last year? i'm thinking deep thoughts now. sense of self. what it means to interact with external stimuli.
My tuba broke durng class today too. i was having problems with my 4th valve sticking and was oiling it and pushing the rotar thingee up and down when sddenly the button disattached from the rotar. fortunately, my pocket knife is advanced enough to both take aparta computer and repair a tuba. you buy a tuba and it costs 2 - 4 imes as much as a computer, but it will last for a hundred years. you buy an analog modular type snth from MOTM for around the same price and it will last for about 30 years (maybe longer). you buy a laptop and it will last 5 yeard if you're insanely lucky. otherwise. 2. maybe 4 years. what a tremendous waste of money. and here i am typing on my 5 year odl desktop (it's still a fast computer, dsmmnit) about how computers suck and i need to experience life without mediation or more directly and while present and what not. i'm going to stop programming entirely and learn to meditate and go sit in trees o n the outskirts of yellostone saving buffaloes from wymoing ranchers who are legally empowered to kill them and be a diryt ippie activist luddite and pay folk musc on ym tuba. strating tomorrow. goodnight