The closer the date got, the more my nervousness dropped away. Some kind email helped, as did supportive friends and forming a sort of game plan for disclosure.
Still, I was nervous when I got to the doctor office. I had a sort of a mini-physical. Apparently, I haven't been eating enough vegetables and it's caused my body Ph to change in undesirable, bacteria-friendly ways. Or it could be stress. I declined anti-fungal meds (don't ask), vowing to eat more brussel sprouts. It's pathetic, though, that when I lived in England, I ate more vegetables than I've been eating in California.
Everything checked out alright, so I got a scrip. I asked for androgel, but apparently it's expensive and requires very large quantities. The doctor recommended a once-every-two-week shot. I didn't argue much or insist. I'm concerned about how long I'm going to want to continue having to inject myself. I hate taking a zoloft pill every night and that's just a pill. But on the other hand, this is only once every two weeks and gel would have been at least once a day and in large quantities and danger of accidentally giving it to others when snuggling with them.
I felt happy and freaked out at the same time, as I went to a pharmacy to fill my new scrip. They told me to come back in half an hour, so I went to a restaurant and got a plate of steamed vegetables. Because I'm supposed to eat more of them. And I went back to find a snafu at the pharmacy because the doctor wrote tomorrow's date. I recalled fondly all the insane things one can get over-the-counter in France and here they have to page rather than fill something 4 hours in advance of the written date.
Stuff in hand, I went back to the doc, where they were about to close, so I didn't learn how to self-inject, but instead, got a shot in the ass administered by a nurse.
I feel kind of giddy. Also my ass hurts. Maybe. Or I could be imagining it. Also, I think my voice is kind of scratchy. Except I know I'm imagining that. On the BART train back to Bezerkeley, I suggested going on a run around the Aquatic Park tomorrow morning and Nicole looked at me like I'd lost my mind. It's impossible to separate expectations from reality so early on. I've had folks (ok, one person) ask me to keep a regular update of whatever tiny thing might be going on related to this. I might do it for a while, at least until some novelty wears off.