Commission Music

Commission Music
Bespoke Noise!!

Tuesday, 8 October 2002

My mom is still sleeping. Her eyes move when she sleeps, so she might be dreaming. Apparently, she woke up for a few minutes this morning and recognized my dad. She hadn't been recognizing him for a while. He had a beard for 30+ years and then a year or two ago he decided it made him look old and shaved it off. I'm still not used to it. My mom apparently wasn't used to it either, so he started growing it back. It's about a centimeter long now. So this morning, my mom got a look of recognition and touched his beard. That was during the five minutes of being awake she had today. She can still drink out of juice boxes even though she's asleep. Drinking out of a straw is sort of automatic, I guess. The juice boxes have eight ounces of liquid and 110 Calories. Soy Dream Enriched has 150 Calories per eight ounces, but we're out of that. Soy Dream Chocolate Enriched has 220 Calories, but my mom was starting to get a rash because she is mildly allergic to chocolate and was getting loads of it in milk, soy milk, ensure, scandi shake and pudding everyday, so we stopped giving her chcolate. Her rash is gone, but she had the beginings of a bedsore this morning. Margie is rolling her from side to side every so often to nip this in the bud and stop formations of new ones. Anyway, whole milk has 160 Calories in 8 ounces, ensure has 250 Calories in eight ounces and ensure plus has 350 calories in eight ounces, but none of those come in juice boxes, so she probably can't drink them anyway.
We're asking hospice tomorrow about giving mom steroids. It's my suggestion, but I'm not 100% sure it's a good idea. It's forestalling the inevitable, I guess. Is it a good idea to wake her up with chemicals, just to have her dragged back down again in a week (maybe more time, maybe less)? I have the idea that if she woke back up, her friends could rush in for a last minute visit, but how many of them would and how many of them would be too scared? Would her brother come? Would her son? Is it just stupid denial on my part to want to do this thing? My dad wants to ship her off to a convalescent hospital, because it's hard for him to be around her when she's in a near coma. He think she doesn't get anything out of his presence and of course, it's difficult for him. So waking her up for a week delays her being shipped off to fatima for a week. I'm trying to suggest a compromise. Maybe she could be put in a hospital bed or something. Right now, they still sleep in the same bed, only she sleeps a lot more than him in it.
All of this is very disturbing. It was hard enough dealing with this when my mom was still awake. I think if I had a job, I would have been fired by now. I guess I don't work for the iguana foundation anymore.
And Chimera seems to have lost the publish button. hrm, must cut and paste this to IE. I guess blogger must have signed some deal with microsoft to use stupid IE-only javascript tags. bleah. it's against the whole idea of the internet. somebody sais that people who write single-browser specific web pages are people who yearn for the days that you couldn't open a mac text document on a pc and vice versa.

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