My new GRE book sucks.

I awakened in an utterly austere room. I was lying on a cot and bare lightbulb hung overhead. I tried to sit up, but fireworks exploded behind my eyes. Afetr a minute, the fireworks abated. I swung my legs around to stand up. Standing was arduous but I stayed on my feet.
The door at the end of the room opened and a man who looked quite a bit like me walked in. "Jane Smith, we meet at last." he said, "You're lucky some of my agents were aboard Dr. Cool's hovercraft, or you would be dead from astringent gas."
"You have my approbation for that." I replied. "Are you, by chance, Mr. Anderson?"
He smiled. "You demonstrate excellent acumen."
"Thank you for your accolade. Why is everyone looking for you?"
He smiled again, but this time it was acerbic. "They say everone wants to be wanted. But it's an axiom not to give away too much to your enemy. Ironically, my henchmen saved you because they thought you were me. If you're amenable you can remain here alive, but imprisoned. Otherwise, it's really the end for you."
"Where's Shelia?!" I demanded.
"Fine. Safe. She's practicing being an ascetic, as are you. I must say she had a bit more alacrity than you're demonstrating."
"Why do you want us imprisoned?"
"Because I'm guilty of avarice. There's a great fortune to be made out in the dessert, as JK, Dr. Cool and I all realize."
Just then, there was a large explosion in the hallway. A section of the wall collapsed, opening up the hallway and my cell to the outside. Mr. Anderson umped out of the way and two gaurds hustled him to safety. "Sieze them!" he cried, as he ran to safety. Shelia appeared in the hole grabbed my arm and we ran together outside, where we saw the hovercraft. "Jump in!" She said.
She got behind the controls and piloted us away. The gaurds shot, but their bullets ricochetted off the armored hull.
"How on earch did you escape and blow up the wall?" I asked, filled with adulation for her.
"Oh, just a litle alchemy. I realized that my soup, when compined with bird droppings that I scraped from the window and some household cleaner would make a powerful explosive. Anyway, we must get to Dr. Cool's hideout right away!"