No, ok, my flight came in ok, obviously. I flew red eye. I'm all exhausted. I feel whiny, so I'm going to whine. I hate flying red eye, but flying in the heat would have cooked my bass guitar. You can only fly dogs red eye in the summer, cuz they get cooked too. If it will kill a dog, it will kill a bass.
My house is cleaner than I remember. I think some of my friends may have done some cleaning after I left. I can't remeber. I haven't done anything today but sleep and look in vain for my pillow. There was brown rice in the cabinet, so soon I'll be eating some rice. Where has my pillow gone? There's also food in the fridge... soy milk and something unidentified. All from last May. But not my pillow!!! bah! Did i bring it home with me?? Did somebody borrow it? Why did I not toss the soymilk, the egss and whatever the green fuzzy thing is/was?
The bugs here are loud. I'm in the middle of nowhere. Tomorrow, I'm cleaning my room and the fridge (at least it's not as bad as spring break) and doing a bit of laundry and making sure my bills are all paid and the next day, I'm going to nyc.
my houseplants seem to be dead, except for my cactus. this is why i keep a cactus as my sole plant. i can neglect it and it doesn't die. and chicken doesn't eat it. wow, i'm probably never going to see chicken again. (that's my ex's cat. she's a freaky beast. spooky as hell. nurses on her tail. attacks houseguests. scares ellen. she's, um, great. she hasn't attacked me in years tho.)
I hate flying red eye. I hate connecticut. ok, i don't hate connecticut. this year should be better than last year. (i think i got married one year ago today, but i'd have to go look at paperwork to be sure.) This time, it will be the second anniversary of my momther's death and not the first. and i already know people. and i'm not going to have a marriage fall apart. but it's going to be cold again and i'll prolly still have some culture shock. i dunno. i really didn't want to come back at all, actually. but i know it's good for me and i don't want to be a quitter. and i'll have a very valuable MFA which will open up a million doors for me and i'll be able to move back to berkeley and live among the bobos. .... or got to more school! The question of what to do with my life after grad school is becomming more pressing. I've been thinking of applying to Columbia. I talked to a grad of there and he said it was great. But as Jim Newman said, when's the last time you heard of a composer with a PhD? (technically, it's a DMA, but yeah.)
I don't know how much I love california or how much I hate what happened to me last year. But I came back, so I'm not a wuss. I just woke up. Haven't eaten anything except for the rice i'm now consuming. horray for dry goods. i was hoping to find tv dinners in the freezer, but they all died in the spring break disaster.
I'm going to stop prattling on about nothing. Homesick already, but what do you expect? The summer went so fast. I didn't get to see half the people I wanted to see and I didn't really accomplish my goals. I finished (well, it needs editting) only a string quartet and played no gigs. I think my cousin dying threw me off. Didn't care about stuff for a while after that. At least I don't have many relatives left to die off. There should be peace on that front for a while. Hopefully.
Where do I see myself in 5 or 10 years
Berkeley. (ok maybe new york or europe, but let's say berkeley or oakland). With a kid. yeah really. i have a dog. having a kid can't be that much worse. you can take kids a lot more places than you can take dogs. plus there are day cares and boarding shcools and summer camp. and let's say teaching. i'm going to be teaching musical things to college types. not very exciting, maybe, but i've been risk-adverse lately. except that breeding is prolly more risky than most other ventures. i dunno. it seems like if you just have one kid, you can take them with you most places. the only children i've known have all been very civilized and some of them are well-travelled.
in 54 minutes, i can go back to sleep.