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Tuesday, 7 September 2004

Giuliani Decoded

Welcome to the capital of the World.

I make this claim, not just because Manhattanites are smug, but because this city is home to one of the world's most important international institutions. If any place could be said to be the capital of the world, it would be the city where representatives of all the nations meet to arrive at international policies, set international law and promote international peace. In the UN buildings, just across town from here, the world comes together to resolve differences and avoid senselss war. I call New York the capital of the World because this party, this country, and all of us here are comitted to an international outlook, benefitting all people.

hahahaha. just kidding. USA rules! smug smug smug

So long as George Bush is President, is there any doubt they will continue to hear from us until we defeat global terrorism.

We will win our war with Oceania. We have always been at war with Oceania

It makes a statement that New York City and America are open for business and stronger than ever.

It's open for buisiness because it's all for sale.

At the time, we believed we would be attacked many more times that day and in the days that followed. Spontaneously, I grabbed the arm of then Police Commissioner Bernard Kerik and said to Bernie, "Thank God George Bush is our President."

That cannot really have happened. I refuse to believe it. The guy who was on vacation and ignored memos entitled subtle things like, "Bin Laden Determined To Strike in US," and who sat and blinked confusedly for many minutes readin My Pet Goat and then fled in his airplane first one direction and then another, creating a power vacuum. I mean . . .

Personally, my first thought was wishing Clinton was back in office. I was standing in the subway in Barcellona, watching the towers fall on the TV screens there and thinking, "I bet Al Gore would have an idea what to do." Seriously.

In 1985, terrorists attacked the Achille Lauro and murdered an American citizen who was in a wheelchair, Leon Klinghoffer.

It is a terrible crime to attack a man in a wheelchair, especially with a missle, unless Israel does it . . .

Terrorist acts became a ticket to the international bargaining table.

How else to explain Yasser Arafat winning the Nobel Peace Prize when he was supporting a terrorist plague in the Middle East that undermined any chance of peace?

I mean, how else to explain it aside from, you know, distorting facts, ignoring data and just generally lying?

Before September 11, we were living with an unrealistic view of the world much like our observing Europe appease Hitler or trying to accommodate ourselves to peaceful co-existence with the Soviet Union through mutually assured destruction.

hitler hitler hitler hitler. this thread is done.

Ronald Reagan saw and described the Soviet Union as "the evil empire" while world opinion accepted it as inevitable and belittled Ronald Reagan's intelligence.

Um. Is that a joke?

John Kerry has no such clear, precise and consistent vision.

This is not a personal criticism of John Kerry.

John Kerry smells funny and can't get it up. This is not a personal criticism of Kerry. It's the sad truth. Stinky and impotent.

But John Kerry has made it the rule to change his position, rather than the exception. In October, 2003, he told an Arab-American Institute in Detroit that a security barrier separating Israel from the Palestinian Territories was a "barrier to peace."

A few months later, he took exactly the opposite position. In an interview with the Jerusalem Post he said, "Israel's security fence is a legitimate act of self defense."

Mr Giuliani, I'm afraid your pants are on fire.

Now New York construction workers are very special people. I'm sure this is true all over but I know the ones here the best. They were real heroes along with many others that day, volunteering immediately. And they're big, real big. Their arms are bigger than my legs and their opinions are even bigger than their arms.

And now more than half of them have respiratory ailments from working on Ground Zero, which the EPA said was safe. The EPA knew it wasn't safe. But re-opening the financial markets was more important than those guys.

Frankly, I believed then and I believe now that Saddam Hussein, who supported global terrorism, slaughtered hundreds of thousands of his own people, permitted horrific atrocities against women, and used weapons of mass destruction, was himself a weapon of mass destruction.

We found the WMD!!!!

Rather than trying to grant more freedom, create more income, improve education and basic health care, these governments deflect their own failures by pointing to America and Israel and other external scapegoats.

Rather than trying to grant more freedom, create more income, improve education and basic health care, Bush deflects his own failures by pointing to Iraq and other external scapegoats.

But blaming these scapegoats does not improve the life of a single person in the Arab world. It does not relieve the plight of even one woman in Iran.

It does not give a decent living to a single soul in Syria. It certainly does not stop the slaughter of African Christians in the Sudan.

There's also an alarming and widespread genocide in the Sudan, but it's against Black African Muslims, so who cares.

But we will know it. We'll know it as accountable governments continue to develop in countries like Pakistan, Afghanistan and Iraq.

Pakistan - military dictator

Afghanistan - oil company apointee with no control outside of the capital city

Iraq - Guy who shot six prisoners in the head.


uncola said...

"Accountable" means "does stuff the US wants" not "accountable to it's own people"

Bush isn't accountable to his own people either. He's unconcered about what the people in his own country want. What does he care about what the leaders of other contries do with thier people? Unless, of course, he feels like invading them....

oakling said...

"Mr Giuliani, I'm afraid your pants are on fire."Wait a minute... are you stealing your jokes from The Daily Show?!

Les said...

oakling: yes.