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Friday 18 February 2005

Computers

The last 12 hours of copying data:
-rw-r--r-- 1 celesteh  staff 12368261120 17 Feb 13:34 laptop-image.dmg
-rw-r--r-- 1 celesteh staff 12545871872 18 Feb 01:20 laptop-image.dmg
200 megs in 12 hours. not good. still just a quarter of the way done. i thought it would be a good idea to create an image of the whole disk. i should have just gotten my home directory. The 12 hours previous to that, I grabbed like 11 gigs. Things are clearly grinding to a halt.

What if I just gave up computers and went offline? How would my life change? I could write out things by hand. I could play tuba. I don't have many offline skills. My housemate helpfully points out that I know how to read. It disturbs me how dependent I am on technology (I am aware of the irony of blogging this). I beleive in technology. Like a beacon of hope. Like a weird, secular religion. Maybe I should let go of it. Do I have to give up on everything that I rely on? Do I have to reorient myself in a more self-reliant direction? Should I remake myself into someone who is offline? It disturbs me to think of just how much my life would change. Which is why I think it might be a good thing. Being stuck in a mold is a prison. Needing a computer to do any work is a trap. They will not always be there. american hegemony will collapse. The oil will run dry and we'll all be offline. So do I own my computer, or does my computer own me?

On the other hand, it would be mighty difficult to write a thesis on computer music without a computer. Is there a way to let go without letting go? It sounds like there can't be. And what would I be throwing away if I walked away from technology? A valuable distribution system at the very least.

I let myself get too invested in technology. How could I just carry on without my data? Maybe it would be better to never do this again. blah blah blah. I need a support group. Is there someplace you can go for dealing with the sudden loss of data?

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