I just saw on TV an hour ago that the pope was dead. now, according to the internets, the pope is alive again. Apparently, they have done controversial surgery on him, replacing several of his missing and broken parts with machines. he is now robopope!
If this doesn't work, he's left a will saying he should be cryogenically frozen. This will make him the world's first popesicle.
Um, ok, nevermind. I'm just annoyed that the story keeps changing. Let me have my moment of momentous occasion already and then let me start speculating on the new pope. I hope they pick an Italian.