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Monday, 15 August 2005

Meetings

When I was a youth, I went to a couple of queer youth group meetings. This was my first and (and only until today) experience with support groups. Only it was more like "go to these meetings until you find somebody to sleep with." I went to two of them and then met a hot chick.

Anyway, today I went to a support group for very very queer folks. Queerer than me. I'm not really supposed to talk about it. I don't think I'm really a support group sort of person. For one thing, I don't like being supportive. No, it's just weird. I mean, whatever. Not my scene. Not my group. Not my thing. I was totally out of place.

I'm really just a boring dykey dyke soft butch lesbian. But that's so dull, I want to branch out to be queerer and queerer. And I mean, other queers are my brothers and sisters in queerness and I can go to the same parade as them and relate to some of their issues, but I'd like not to go to their meetings.

I'm going to the Lex later this week sometime. More details to follow.

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2 comments:

Anonymous said...

You probably aren't in a support place right now, it's timing I find. My story along those lines: I went to an art therapy class right after my Father died, and it was the BEST thing I could have done. I got so much out of it, I can't even tell you, I loved the other people, I thought the teacher was a genius... Then a couple of years later I thought it might be nice to go back, I found the people whiney, the teacher too easy going (same teacher-but suddently I was aware that she let things run on and we could go over time every night...) I lost patience with looking at their art. I kept thinking "why don't we go out and have a margarita instead..." this lead to my realization that it's all a matter of timing. Or maybe I was just becoming a lush. But either way, it was me not them...

-Carol

Les said...

I don't want to say there's anything wrong with the folks in the group or the whole idea of the group. I'm kind of glad I went. It was a trans group. They're good guys and I relate to many of their issues, but I'm missing the critical mass of issues that would make me one of them.

I'm just a dyke. Nothing wrong with that. My flavor of butch is out of fashion right now, but that's a change in the world not with me. Saw an interesting article about that: http://www.afterellen.com/column/2005/8/backintheday2.html "As masculinity in women is increasingly associated with transgenderism, masculinity in lesbians becomes less acceptable."

This is confusing as somebody who participates in culture, but it doesn't make me trans. I think some older trans guys in the world may have been responding to a similar anti-butch thing in previous decades. That's fine if they're happy with it, I mean obviously their bodies their lives, their right to decide.

Gender might be innate and seems to be, but gender expression and identity isn't as much so, obviously. People have agency, they can make choices. I could be a dyke or a transguy, but it just seems like too much trouble to change. All that stress and freaking out my family and dealing with doctors (I hate doctors) and government bureaucracy and blah blah blah for what exactly? Cuz being butch is out of style? Orrrrr... i could keep living my life the way I've been living it.

Which is to say that while there are many ways to be trans, there are also many ways to be a woman. Their narratives are not my narrative in any meaningful way. So they're good guys, I'm just not one of them. So it was useful for me to go to such a meeting once and I'm not going back.