Perl? Why the hell would i know perl?

Just because I spent two years as a perl programmer is no reason at all to think i ight know how to store data in it. what a silly idea. i think i'll spend days trying to figure out how to dereference arrays. after all, it's not like i have anyhting better to do. it's a good thing that i'm such a mellow person or i might get the urge to kill the undergrad in here who keeps asking me for help with his midterm project even though i'm not the ta for this class, i'm just a fucked up student and his project is working.