Commission Music

Commission Music
Bespoke Noise!!

Wednesday, 12 May 2004

So I trimmed my old concluding paragraph

If she did, indeed, chose death rather than change clothes, then her clothing represents a highly developed technique of self. She was strongly invested in her sense of selfhood. Her gender performance, repressed and questioned, had become fully internally ingrained. The dialog she had with her judges and her voices lead her to value her nonheteronormative gender performance more than her life. If it was so central to her selfhood, then she was queerly self-aware. Her identity was evident to herself as queer. It was not just a place of opposition, it was a place of opposition that she was aware of and invested in. She "came out" as genderqueer, proclaiming it fundamental to her sense of self. She embodied a category that did not yet exist, by enduring repression and questioning in a process analogous to current queers. She lived and died the queer experience. She was so fucking queer. If she were alive right now, she'd have gotten married in san francisco earlier this term. she'd be hanging out at lesbian bars in paris. she'd be a contributer to stone butch blues. she'd inspire a generation of bulldykes to adopt page-boy haircuts. she'd be so fucking awesome. man, i would date her. she'd be the lead singer in her own punk rock band. she'd wear badass jeans with a big leather belt. she'd have big stomping boots. nobody would mess with her. she'd take the chunnel to england to go raise hell in london. she would tell english tourists to get the hell out of france and leave her alone. she'd have like 700 girlfriends and break all of thier hearts cuz she was like 19 and 19 year olds are wont to do that. 700 broken hearted exes and a line a mile long to snag her after her shows. people who were older and should know better would fall for her. older guys in the buisiness would respect her, they wouldn't even see her as a piece of ass, they'd think she was an equal. and man, she'd get action. she told her judges, "as for where she lodged or slept at night, she usually had a woman with her; when she was fighting, she would lie fully dressed and armed, if there was no woman to be found. In respect of the end of the article, she refers herself to God." (Barrett 217) yah, all those chicks refer to god too. "ooohhhh god!" she'd be like cara crash, "i've got a crush on cara crash. her fast fingers make me trash . . .. ejaculate when i hear the sound of her playing." (Breedlove) she'd fucking rule. so fucking punk rock, but with really fancy clothes, cuz she was into the bling. and man, anybody smart would stay the hell away from her. she's going to burn out and die young. but her heart won't burn, oh no. they have to toss that into the seine. leaving a trail of bodies behind her, her heart unburned, she'd flame so spectacularly, they'd be talking about it for like another 600 years. man, and every young dyke would fucking want her, but ever more, they'd want to be her. be her major ass kicking badass girl-getting never sleeps alone self. and what about her? the bourgeois of paris would be as perplexed now as he was then. "what it was god only knows" he'd still be talking about exposing her body like you could tell something about what the hell she was by looking at her naked corpse. he just wants to feel better about things. say, yah, it's just a girl after all. still. lifeless. dead. not so inexplicable. not so awesome. just weird. she's a fucking heretic. things are better this way. we're going to win cuz god is on our side. but god is not on his side. god is with her. she's taking over even from after death. what she started isn't going to stop when she does. it's bigger than a signle charismatic figure. her guys are going all the way. your sorry ass is going to be kissing theirs. you don't mess with her, cuz she'll kick your ass, even if you think you won. you'll just make a martyr out of her. you'll just turn the crowds against you. just do what she says, man, it's easier. you can't mess with her, she's inspired. she's guided by voices. she is SO FUCKING QUEER. so back off motherfuckah. this is not your spritzhead girlfriend this is hothead fucking joan of fuck arc paisan, yeah. FUCK YOU

But seriously folks

Please give me feedback. Paper: http://www.xkey.com/~celesteh/acad/wes/joan-queer.rtf and bibliography: http://www.xkey.com/~celesteh/acad/wes/joan-queer-bib.rtf .   Feedback pretty please? Especially the end paragraphs, cuz, um, I stayed up way too late. but i can sleep on the plane. and maybe nap before my flight after i finish all my chores i have to do.

No comments: