"Hollywood likes anal sex."

says William Donahue of the arch-conservative Catholic League

Well, who doesn't? Somehow, though, this has something to do with hating Christmas. Um, right. Not satisfied with destroying marriage through consentual anal fisting, fags are now bent upon destroying Chrstmas with the combined super powers of their anuses. How exactly will this occur? What are the mechanics of this operation? Will they [editors note: rest of paragraph removed]

So those filthy fag, jewish, atheist communists are out to destroy Christmas. All of those groups are the same people because they're all the alien other. I'm sure that Islamofascism is also in on this some how. None other than Osama bin Ladin himself issues the decree that newspaper ads now say "happy holidays" instead of "merry christmas." Because pluralism is a terrible thing for america. If we accept the alien other, well, marriage will collapse, the races will mix, everyone will become atheist and women will turn lesbian, divorce their husbands, murder their children and all practice Wicca.

Of course, it does weaken patriarchial hegemony if we embrace diversity. Most people will still be heterosxeual and most Americans will still be Christian, but some will be off doing their own thing and out of control, and I guess that's a bad thing for total patriarchial domination. Also, it's hard to have a philosophy of being persecuted when you control everything, so you need to find new scapegoats periodically, or the same old suspects. Wouldn't it be great, though, if their dire warnings could ever be true? What if switching to saying "happy holidays" really did end capitalism and make everyone bisexual? That would be awesome. It's enough to make me want to launch a boycott of Christmas.